Married Sex: A Christian Couple's Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life
- Downloads：4282
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2021-10-18 11:21:10
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Gary L. Thomas
- ISBN：1713636859
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
A unique， comprehensive guide to sexual intimacy for Christian couples in every season of marriage。
A great sex life is something you make， not something you find。 If you feel confused or frustrated about your sex life--or simply wonder， Is there more to it than this？--Married Sex is exactly what you need to make your marriage stronger， in and out of the bedroom。
Including the stories of real-life couples， research results from hundreds of comprehensive surveys， and professional perspective from a bestselling spiritual writer and a licensed counselor， Married Sex will:
Help you understand why married sex is one of God's best ideas
Teach you the inner workings of your body and your spouse's body in order to achieve optimal pleasure
Guide you through the most common sexual problems couples have and what to do about them
Help you see how your past experiences and expectations influence your present sex life
Give you practical suggestions and techniques to enhance your sexual experience
Encourage you to take ownership in the process of making love， seeing a great sex life as a beautiful opportunity to honor both God and your spouse
Psychology， theology， research， story， and let's-get-started ideas combine to make Married Sex a resource for you and your spouse like no other book you've read before。 Discover practical， biblically informed answers to your questions about intimacy as you find more satisfaction in your marriage than ever。
A great sex life is something you make， not something you find。 If you feel confused or frustrated about your sex life--or simply wonder， Is there more to it than this？--Married Sex is exactly what you need to make your marriage stronger， in and out of the bedroom。
Including the stories of real-life couples， research results from hundreds of comprehensive surveys， and professional perspective from a bestselling spiritual writer and a licensed counselor， Married Sex will:
Help you understand why married sex is one of God's best ideas
Teach you the inner workings of your body and your spouse's body in order to achieve optimal pleasure
Guide you through the most common sexual problems couples have and what to do about them
Help you see how your past experiences and expectations influence your present sex life
Give you practical suggestions and techniques to enhance your sexual experience
Encourage you to take ownership in the process of making love， seeing a great sex life as a beautiful opportunity to honor both God and your spouse
Psychology， theology， research， story， and let's-get-started ideas combine to make Married Sex a resource for you and your spouse like no other book you've read before。 Discover practical， biblically informed answers to your questions about intimacy as you find more satisfaction in your marriage than ever。
Reviews
Andrea Aleksandrova
，
This book appears to be a response to "The Great Sex Rescue" by Sheila Wray Gregoire， Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach， and Joanna Swatsky。It's overarching message is: Wives are obligated to have sex with their husbands--just kidding， no they aren't。The whiplash is real。 Men are primarily visual creatures （ch。 4）--wait， no， they are emotional and spiritual creatures too （214）。 Women should give their husbands oral sex （214）--or maybe not （224）。 A power differential in bed is a good thing （140）--but h This book appears to be a response to "The Great Sex Rescue" by Sheila Wray Gregoire， Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach， and Joanna Swatsky。It's overarching message is: Wives are obligated to have sex with their husbands--just kidding， no they aren't。The whiplash is real。 Men are primarily visual creatures （ch。 4）--wait， no， they are emotional and spiritual creatures too （214）。 Women should give their husbands oral sex （214）--or maybe not （224）。 A power differential in bed is a good thing （140）--but husbands should respect their wives （217）。The book is pornographic。 I am all for talking about sex， but this book reads more like a trashy romance novel or pornography on a page。 A woman's breasts are "high-octane sexual excitement boosters" （54） that can "reset any power balances" （13）。 A woman is quoted as saying， "'It’s hard for me to describe the emotional and spiritual feelings that combine when my husband first enters me。 When he takes his time and slowly slides in， I feel an emotional and physical bond。 And then when he’s all the way in， I sigh out loud as I anticipate what’s yet to come'" （103）。Women are objectified throughout。 Wives are encouraged to text nude photos to their husbands （126）， and a husband can lust as long as the object of his lust is his wife （181）。 Probably the most disturbing part of the book is when Gary quotes Dr。 Esther Perel: "'You can be all for egalitarianism in the workplace and yet in private let yourself revel in the thrill of losing control and letting someone else take charge。 Dr。 Perel writes， 'The power differential that would be unacceptable in her emotional relationship with Vito is precisely what excites Elizabeth erotically'" （141）。This book is downright destructive for porn-addicted men。 It literally reads as though it is written from the perspective of a porn-addicted mind。 While porn addicts are directly addressed， （209）， wives of porn addicts are left with the advice to get naked a lot for their husbands to help them not look at porn （125）， to be emotionally vulnerable with their porn-addicted husbands （209）， and to try to fix things through better communication （210）。 This advice is downright dangerous and is the exact opposite of the advice that should be given。 Abuse is barely mentioned except as past trauma that women （mostly） need to heal from in order to have better sex （ch。 13）。 Actual abuse is minimized into "anger and rage，" "malice，" "filthy language，" and "lying" （219-221）。 Wives married to abusive husbands are given the same advice as wives of porn addicts and are shamed for having normal reactions to abuse （201-202）。It isn't all bad。 Some helpful sexual techniques can definitely be learned （ch。 3）， as well as some good communication tips for couples in healthy marriages （NOT for spouses of porn addicts or abused spouses） （109-113， 155-158）。 However， the good gets overwhelmingly lost in the whiplash and the pornified objectification of women found throughout the rest of the book。I do not recommend this book for anyone。 For healthy couples， it teaches husbands to objectify their wives and tells wives that this is godly。 For porn addicts and abusive men， this book will become a tool to further manipulate and abuse their wives。 For wives of porn addicts and abused wives， this book is downright destructive and soul-destroying。 。。。more
Karen
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I didn’t care for the book。 Honestly instead of drawing women into contemplating a better sex life there are strange parts in the book that will turn some women away。 Brazilian waxes， crotchless panties and sleeping nude won’t be for everyone—-these aren’t essential parts of a good sex life。 The woman “Jocelyn” that was interviewed was insufferable。Similar to many Christian marriage books written by celebrity pastors there are parts that make one wonder how well they really understand women——or I didn’t care for the book。 Honestly instead of drawing women into contemplating a better sex life there are strange parts in the book that will turn some women away。 Brazilian waxes， crotchless panties and sleeping nude won’t be for everyone—-these aren’t essential parts of a good sex life。 The woman “Jocelyn” that was interviewed was insufferable。Similar to many Christian marriage books written by celebrity pastors there are parts that make one wonder how well they really understand women——or understand all women are not the same。If the book didn’t include some of the author’s misunderstandings about women I would give it more stars。 。。。more
Ylva
，
This book has some good and some really bad teaching in it。 The bad parts are so bad though that they outweigh any good ones。 Flashing your husband can "reset power imbalances" apparently。 They not only teach an obligation sex message， but suggest sending your husband nude pictures helps him not to cheat or fantasize as well as phone sex when he is on a business trip。 The anecdotes are quite graphic and feel more like erotica most of the time。 Abuse is not addressed in this book， nor is marital This book has some good and some really bad teaching in it。 The bad parts are so bad though that they outweigh any good ones。 Flashing your husband can "reset power imbalances" apparently。 They not only teach an obligation sex message， but suggest sending your husband nude pictures helps him not to cheat or fantasize as well as phone sex when he is on a business trip。 The anecdotes are quite graphic and feel more like erotica most of the time。 Abuse is not addressed in this book， nor is marital rape or consent。 I do not recommend this， as it might make husbands feel justified in their objectification of women and make people who struggle with lust stumble due to its graphic nature。 The good sex tips can be found in other， less harmful books as well。 。。。more
Elizabeth
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This book teaches objectification of the spouse's body--especially the wife's。 Frankly， it is gross， and turns my stomach in ways that are hard to communicate with clarity。 Think of the visceral sense of disgust healthy people feel when in the presence of suspected rapist。 Gary thinks a wife who feels "power imbalances" in the marriage resets those by "flashing" her husband。 He thinks the Song of Songs indicates that men are commanded to be enthralled by breasts （without mentioning that the book This book teaches objectification of the spouse's body--especially the wife's。 Frankly， it is gross， and turns my stomach in ways that are hard to communicate with clarity。 Think of the visceral sense of disgust healthy people feel when in the presence of suspected rapist。 Gary thinks a wife who feels "power imbalances" in the marriage resets those by "flashing" her husband。 He thinks the Song of Songs indicates that men are commanded to be enthralled by breasts （without mentioning that the book actually describes mutual enthrallment with all aspects of both lovers）， and that "full breasts" are in fact what make women different from apes。 Yes， different from apes。 He gets up close and personal with what read like his own sexual fantasies， and recommends that wives sleep naked so as to be extra available to their men。 He quotes a single debunked scientist to "prove" that men's brains dictate their urges。 （Who needs the Holy Spirit when you have a brain scanner and a hack scientist to justify your lust？） Coauthor Deb Fileta indicates that women who feel pain when breastfeeding should set those concerns aside and be available for lovemaking （'cuz men）， with no comment that it's okay for breasts to be off limits。 For a healthy counterpart to all this teaching， *please* read Sheila Gregoire's "The Great Sex Rescue"。 。。。more
Patrick Weaver
，
I normally don’t speak about the work or writing of others。 It’s not out of spite nor is it an indictment of the individual when and if I do。 But there are times when a rebuttal and rejection to grossly misleading and dangerous speak passed off as “Christian” in the public square is necessary — if not demanded。 Such a book has been published by Gary Thomas， a well-known author and evangelical pastor who’s written numerous books about marriage and relationships， including his book “When to Walk A I normally don’t speak about the work or writing of others。 It’s not out of spite nor is it an indictment of the individual when and if I do。 But there are times when a rebuttal and rejection to grossly misleading and dangerous speak passed off as “Christian” in the public square is necessary — if not demanded。 Such a book has been published by Gary Thomas， a well-known author and evangelical pastor who’s written numerous books about marriage and relationships， including his book “When to Walk Away” in 2019， which was a beacon of light and encouragement for abuse victims and survivors。 His latest book， “Married Sex，” co-authored by Debra K。 Fileta， which is marketed to Christian couples， can only be described as strange， dangerous and stupefying。 The book is so saturated with crazed， erroneous， misogynistic and unhealthy advice， until it’s hard to imagine that a woman is the co-author， and that a Christian would write it。 The book would have been appropriately titled， “When I Was A Child I Reasoned As A Child。”The bottom line， it’s a disappointment。 To call it a Christian book would insult the Bible — as there is no biblical support for the content of this book nor does the book lend itself to healthy marriages。 It’s a disappointment because an abuser or an abuser in training might be emboldened by the utter and complete chauvinistic， misguided nonsense that reads more like a game plan for an intimate partner predator than the mentality or heart of a Christian spouse。 Sexual manipulation， exploitation， coercion and gaslighting are common themes throughout the book。Let’s be really clear…a spouse is not a sex slave or a suppressant drug for a sex addict。 A couple can agree and desire to have sex multiple times a day， every day， or once a month。 The key is， sex is not a tool， weapon or trick in a healthy relationship。 Healthy relationships aren’t defined by how much sex they have or how often， healthy relationships are defined by how much love they have and how much Jesus is reverenced （Ephesians 5:21）。 Sex alone doesn’t keep marriages together — the glue that keeps marriages together is God。 Suggesting or claiming that a healthy Christian marriage， or any marriage， is between a sex addicted husband and a sexual servant/slave for a wife is borderline sadistic， and wholly unbiblical。 I’m not saying sex in a marriage isn’t important and I’m not saying that Christian couples are to refrain from having passionate， exciting， fulfilling and satisfying sex lives。 What I’m saying is， when sex is portrayed as a drug and a spouse as a fix， that’s not a healthy sexual relationship or a healthy relationship， that’s abuse — drug abuse。 It plants the seed that a woman’s purpose is to breed and please like a slave。 It encourages barbaric and misogynistic sexual exploits in the home under the guise of being “Christian。” It makes marital rape acceptable since slaves have no rights。 This book is a tragic entry into the Christian Relationship Advice column。 It grossly misrepresents biblical love， healthy men， healthy sex and honoring women。 This is not an indictment of the authors， it’s a disclaimer for the unsuspecting Christian reader。 Read this book with caution and understanding that this is not a Christian Relationship or Sex book， it’s a book written by Christians — that is not good for either healthy relationships or Christians。 。。。more
Amanda Schumacher
，
DNF—the section that objectified women’s breasts as a way to restore balance of power within the marriage was enough for me to not want to continue reading。 Perhaps I will revisit this book again—but I doubt it will change the rating of this review。
Lisa Manske
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